Meetings

These days, I’ve been involved in so many meetings, design reviews and etc etc that I don’t find time to work even on the concepts decided in those meetings!!

But lemme tell u, meetings r invaluable yaar… u’ll find nice coffee, bikkis, sometimes samosas at ur table; u can take occasional naps, enjoy people fooling around … and haan… great moral support as a bonus!!!

Moral support??? Lemme explain, if u have any doubt that your thinking abilities have come down these days, just enter into any damn meeting, n spend ur quality (?) time over there; trust me at the end of the day, u’ll say hi to Einstein in the mirror!!!
(Inspired by “A Stranger in the mirror” title, but only by title, I don’t like that novel… Sydney Sheldon’s baddest one)

After experiencing a hell lot of bakwas meetings, I found couple of steps to be followed before, during and after meetings.

1. Never turn up early (of course, as an Indian u’ll turn up at least a good 15 minutes late, but still I warn u (wildly) guessing a foreign reader for my blog). Otherwise u will become “The chosen one” for writing those bloody MOMs (minutes of meeting).
Always keep in mind…”Early birds r vulnerable”
2. Place yourself in a remotest place in the hell… sorry hall; Beware!! They’re on a hunt for bakra(s) who’ll take up responsibility for each and every point.
3. Never act intelligent! Suggestions r best kept to urself only!!
If idea is yours, then implementation will (also) be yours!!!
4. Don’t laugh at their stupidity; they’ll feel u r a foreigner to this planet.
5. Never argue, u’ll become one of them. Just watch and njoy!! If u can’t bear, just take a nap.
6. Always leave meeting early…I don’t know the reasons… but I found it’s good.
7. Always ask somebody to call u when u r in the middle of meeting… that shows u r busy person…
8. Keep an eye on bearer for biscuits and chai… u must grab the first ones otherwise that moron may show you an empty plate…then u’ve to smile like a guy who smiles at his by-stander in the bus-stop after missing a bus in span of few seconds after running a good half kilo meter huffing and puffing.

SD once said: A meeting is a place where minutes are kept and hours are lost

I like it… it’s true… literally…